How to deal with insecurity — advice from a psychologist

Inse­cu­ri­ty man­i­fests itself to some degree in the lives of most peo­ple. Var­i­ous fears and com­plex­es pre­vent you from being your­self and liv­ing a full life. How­ev­er, there are ways to cope with psy­cho­log­i­cal clamps.

Why does uncer­tain­ty and fear of show­ing one­self become part of our lives? The roots of such prob­lems often go back to child­hood. A strik­ing exam­ple is the sit­u­a­tion with the birth of an unwant­ed child in the fam­i­ly, who was told about this fact by par­ents or some­one from oth­ers. This leads to the fact that a per­son feels unwant­ed, becomes depen­dent and does not find his place.

In such a sit­u­a­tion, the child sim­ply does not under­stand how to adapt to the world, psy­chol­o­gist Olga Dan­dar explains to dni.ru. This hap­pens at the sub­con­scious lev­el, is record­ed in the sub­cor­tex of the brain.

Also, if par­ents show them­selves inse­cure, do not strive to achieve more, then this mod­el of behav­ior will pass to the child.

“Then he lives by iner­tia: he goes to work, earns some mon­ey. At the same time, a per­son is not lib­er­at­ed, down­trod­den and does not know how to express him­self. If he gets a job, a block occurs on it and fears are revealed. So the employ­ee occu­pies some niche of his own, is afraid to move up the career lad­der, they don’t notice him”said the expert.

School can also lead to the emer­gence of psy­cho­log­i­cal clamps. Often, var­i­ous labels are hung on stu­dents by teach­ers and there­by trig­ger the devel­op­ment of a los­er com­plex. Con­stant belit­tling of a per­son leads to low self-esteem. Then it accom­pa­nies him for the rest of his life.

Some­times a per­son is so con­strained that he is afraid to even speak, gets lost and hides his eyes. Usu­al­ly, in the course of com­mu­ni­ca­tion with a psy­chol­o­gist, it turns out that he faced bul­ly­ing and vio­lence in child­hood, was an unwant­ed child. Such peo­ple often find them­selves an abu­sive part­ner who makes the clamps even stronger.

Psy­chol­o­gist Dan­dar says that many peo­ple are used to liv­ing like this.

“They do not see this as a prob­lem, they are com­fort­able sit­ting in their swamp,” she empha­sizes.

How to overcome insecurity

Aware­ness of one’s psy­cho­log­i­cal prob­lems leads to the need to set a goal and a way to achieve it. For exam­ple, the desire to grow up the career lad­der can lead a per­son to cours­es in per­son­nel man­age­ment or oth­er train­ing.

Chang­ing your image is the eas­i­est way to feel dif­fer­ent. The expert advis­es to replace old things, hair, buy new per­fume, cos­met­ics and put your­self in order. This con­tributes to a shift in ener­gy, a change in the ener­gy state and per­cep­tion of one­self as a whole.

A pos­i­tive effect in solv­ing psy­cho­log­i­cal prob­lems can be pro­vid­ed by a good and strong part­ner who will sup­port and exert pres­sure in the right direc­tion. At the same time, such a life part­ner should real­ly see the dig­ni­ty in a per­son and not focus on the short­com­ings.

“There are many dif­fer­ent tech­niques and prac­tices that are in the pub­lic domain, they can be tried and applied. For devel­op­ment, moti­va­tion­al train­ings, train­ings for per­son­al growth, and increas­ing female ener­gy are very help­ful. Who is miss­ing some­thing. It is impor­tant to iden­ti­fy your fail­ures and move for­ward, find your place.the expert advised.

Med­i­ta­tion, accord­ing to the psy­chol­o­gist, acts as anoth­er effec­tive way to get rid of psy­cho­log­i­cal clamps.

Hyp­no­sis can also trig­ger changes with­in a per­son. With it, you can remove neg­a­tive atti­tudes, acquire pos­i­tive ones and change your sub­con­scious.